The Wicker Man (2006) Review

Wow, just wow, where to even begin? The Wicker Man starring Nicolas Cage. Doesn't that say it all?


I know that Nicolas Cage has become the punchline to practically any joke in existence and one can argue that it all started with this film. Don't get me wrong, he's always been a weird guy with quite an astonishing range in terms of acting and some bizarre behavior in his private life. He's covered everything from Academy Award performances (Leaving Las Vegas), leading action hero (The Rock, Con Air) to JESUS-CHRIST-WHAT-DID-I-JUST-WATCH (Bad Lieutenant : Port of Call - New Orleans). And don't get me started on his comic obsession...

Forget Henry Cavill, THIS would have been awesome!

But back to The Wicker Man. A movie that fails on so many levels it is borderline unbelievable that it ever got green-lighted. It is a horror movie that is not scary, a thriller that is not thrilling, a mystery that is not fascinating, a remake that nobody asked for, all directed by a guy without genre experience starring the one-and-only Nicolas Cage.

This film has been made fun of already by so many people, it's become a running joke across the Internet to throw out the following memes showcasing Cage's "acting" talent:

I mean, honestly, is it even worth trying to smugly talk serious business here? Cage is a cop who is called upon an island in the Pacific Northwest by an old flame of his to figure out the disappearance of her daughter. But who cares about the plot if you can see Cage having awkward interactions with the islanders, wearing a bear costume, stealing bicycles, punching women in the face and overall running around like a twat?

Overall, just an another average day for Nicolas Cage

It's so hard to comprehend what must have been going on in the heads of everyone involved. Everything is played so dead straight, they totally miss the point that they are digging for comedic gold at every corner. In that regard, The Wicker Man might just be the definition of a cult classic for all the wrong reasons.
This film deserves to be celebrated by lovers of craptastic films like the Plan 9 from Outer Space and the oh-so-beloved Tommy Wiseau abomination The Room. If you're foolish enough to take the whole charade seriously you will hate yourself for wasting valuable life time but if you're in on the joke then you will enjoy every second of this train wreck of a movie.