Is it possible to take a critical look at a childhood favorite without falling into the nostalgia trap? Well, I don't know, but guess what, I'll try to review The Witches anyways.
This film used to scare me shitless when I was a little kid. There are parts in it that I could only watch whiningly with my hands in front of my eyes. Luckily I'm not 5 years old anymore but a fully grown-up wannabe online movie critic like millions of others out there. Ergo I could finally watch the film without missing any parts due to my fingers obstructing my view.
And you know what, the film still holds up. Or at least for the most part it does...
Let's start with the story. The film is an adaptation of Roald Dahl's book of the same title, a book that I am not familiar with, so don't expect any big arguments about how well the original spirit translates to the screen. Right off the bat we are introduced to our main character, a kid named Luke, who is fully entranced by his grandma's stories about witches. She tells him a creepy tale from her childhood about a friend of hers disappearing. This whole sequence is handled incredibly well, it's goosebump-inducing and creates a bleak and frightening atmosphere. I'm going out here on a limb and credit that to Nicolas Roeg's artful and expressive direction, something he's already shown in the 70s classic Don't Look Now.
When Luke's parents die in an off-screen car accident (which is presented suprisingly subtly) his grandmother takes him on a trip to the British seaside. This is where we are introduced to the main attraction of the movie, Anjelica Huston as the Grand High Witch Miss Ernst. She is a commanding and hilarious presence and Huston loves to chew scenery every time she is onscreen. We learn that Huston has got all the witches of Great Britain together at the hotel to reveal her diabolical plan to turn all the children of the world into mice. Luke, who has been hiding during this revelation, is exposed and is turned into a mouse, just like another boy he met earlier named Bruno. Now it is up to both the boys and Luke's grandma to stop the witches from going through with their plan.
This is where I started feeling iffy about the movie. On the one hand, there is the great makeup and puppets provided by Muppets and Sesame Street genius Jim Henson. All the practical effects are just a marvel to look at and you can tell that no expenses were spared to create something truly memorable. On the other hand there is the performances that very much differ in quality. Huston is a standout but the kids are somewhat weak. Of course, they are child actors, so I don't expect any Daniel Day-Lewis like method acting. Luke, played by Jasen Fisher, is alright when he doesn't yell for his grandma but Bruno's acting can't be called anything but wooden and contrived. It doesn't help that the script only gives him lines that are variations on him being overweight, being hungry or evaluating food. Now that is not offensive at all! I know that there's a reason behind it (after all, this is a children's movie and the film is trying to hammer home a lesson) but that's not really an excuse for lazy and one-dimensional writing.
Another issue is the pacing. The whole sequence of the Grand High Witch revealing her plan slows the film down considerably and just becomes a showcase for Huston going all out. Her effort is appreciated but it becomes quite grating because the plot comes to a complete halt. Little kids will have nightmares for weeks from that scene thanks to the impressive makeup of Huston's "real" face but grownups will grow bored with it rather quickly. Luckily the film features a great climax, yet again all thanks to the work of the makeup and effects people. This is also the point when you should turn off the movie, don't watch the ending because it flat out doesn't work. Roald Dahl himself stated that he hated the "happy" ending of the film and I can definitely see why. The tone of it doesn't fit what came before and I get the sense that some hack producer intervened at the last moment, afraid audiences wouldn't be able to handle something a bit more uncomfortable.
So, what's my final verdict? I did enjoy the movie, it is still a good watch and I would even go as far as calling it an underrated child classic. Is it perfect? Nope. Does it have flaws? Yup. Is it fun? You betcha! Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, there are quite a couple of things in the film that kids won't be able to pick up but grownups will. Rowan Atkinson is hilarious as the hotel manager who spends most of his offscreen time shagging the maid. There's also an interesting argument that can be made about the witches being standins for Nazis. Look at the evidence: The Grand High Witch is German, named Eva (as in Eva Braun) and they have a plan to get rid of an entire population group. Was that already in the book? Maybe it's time to look at children's books and movies with more than just nostalgia goggles.
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