Gravity (2013) sort-of-but-not-really Review

Yes, Gravity is actually the best thing since sliced bread. Critics around the world have lost their shit over this film, making it out to be the next step in the cinematic evolution. Well, I finally got around to see it, and in short, it's freakin' brilliant. I saw it in 3D and it was well worth it, so do yourself a favor, pay the 3 bucks extra to put on grimy plastic glasses and be blown away by what, without a doubt, can be called a landmark film.

And since I am incredibly lazy right now (sometimes copy-and-paste'ing stuff is easier than actual writing), here's a couple random troll quotes from the IMDB message boards of the film to counteract the cinegasm you'll get from watching this film.

psycrology84 compares it to a forgotten Pierce Brosnan film from the 90s and says: The script is dull, the acting okay I guess and the characters lack any kind of depth. It's like Dante's Peak in space with top of the line CGI.

SFMZone makes a valid point and says: Watching Gravity on a Smartphone is like trying to scratch your foot with your shoe on. 

fantard shares his deep knowledge about human beings and says: Morons tend to share the same, single malfunctioning braincell. ...as this film seems to be resoundingly proving.

couper is very mature and says: You should probably re-take kindergarten.

greenbanzanas knows a lot about acting and says: Here's a friggin' clue: never make a movie with one actor/actress, and if Sandra Bullock gets a nomination for Best Actress from any guild, body or org. than they need to have their head examined.

spanishlatam apparently doesn't know what a documentary is and says: C'mon... Gravity is just an unbearable documentary that some people wanna give the status of masterpiece without having a clue of what a masterpiece is.

TamPalm found out who this film was made for and says: This movie is for little kids to play "let's travel through space." That's it. Almost no plot. Nothing.

rgibson-20 has Alfonso Cuarón completely figured out and says: My interpretation is the director knew it was absolutely necessary to give Sandra's legs more screen time.

shyam14111986 comes to a staggering conclusion and says: The word "Gravity" is never uttered once in the movie?

glenhead83 is a mysogynistic prick and says: Best believe it would've been the man who made it back to Earth, not the whiny female. But that's Hollywood for ya. 

And what's the moral of the story? Never, ever check out IMDB message boards.